


juno steel and the time he got dunked by nature

by TackyJackie



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Blame the Discord, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Character Death, Shifting Points of View, a little bit of suicidal ideation, all angst, juno's sad and i like to see him suffer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 18:39:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13840674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TackyJackie/pseuds/TackyJackie
Summary: Juno's alone in the Martian desert, no food, no water, and lots of radiation good luck to him





	juno steel and the time he got dunked by nature

Juno had no words to describe the deep wave of hopelessness and guilt that washed over him as he walked away from the corpses of Pilot Pereyra and the Piranha. The only reason he even started walking was that he had nothing else to lose, he’d already lost everything. He lost Peter Nureyev, he lost Ramses O’Flaherty, he lost his home, and he almost lost his life so why not start walking. The Free Dome disappeared behind him and the red sand as he walked. 

  


For a while, that’s all he did, walk. His brain was quiet, save for the Thea calculating everything he could see, and what he couldn’t. He was wondering if the radiation or the dehydration would get him first when the voice came. 

  


“Hello, Juno Steel.” Juno turned to the voice to see Pilot Pereyra standing there with no blaster wound to be seen, they looked right as rain. 

  


“You’re dead,” Juno dragged his hands across his face. He was colder than he anticipated, that’s the Martian desert for you.

  


“Maybe so, but it seems like someone’s feeling guilty.” Pereyra’s features shifted until they were no longer theirs but instead the Piranha’s. “It’s not polite to kill.” She took a step towards him, he took one back. “It wasn’t a necessary death. I can admire that.”

  


“Stop,” Juno breathed, “I just want to-” He froze, what  _ did _ he want to do? He had no direction, no plan, he was just walking out in the middle of the Martian desert. “Just leave me alone.” The Piranha laughed but turned to walk away.

  


“If that’s what you want, although I can’t promise that brain of yours won’t cook up something worse for you.” 

  


Juno sighed and squinted against the light of the sun as he looked forward at all the red sand, endless and endless red sand and he started walking. And he kept walking when his vision blurred and the Thea told him he needed water, and he kept walking when the Thea told him he was experiencing dangerously high levels of radiation. He kept walking.

  


He was almost ashamed to admit to himself that he was scared. He didn’t want to be scared, he didn’t want to be anything other than dead. But the fear kept him moving, the fear of Ramses, the fear of the desert, the fear that Rita would be beside herself with worry, or worse that she wouldn’t. It kept him walking.

  


Pereyra and the Piranha weren’t the last of his hallucinations, but they certainly were the kindest. He saw a car on the horizon, it didn’t seem like it was getting any closer until it was suddenly barreling towards him and coming to a swerving stop in front of him. He didn’t want to let himself hope, he didn’t want to let himself be disappointed. The door opened and out stepped Rita, smiling at him the same way she does when she hacks into a particularly tough system.

  


“Oh man, Mistah Steel, you’re looking a little worse for wear,” she said shutting the door and stepping towards him. He wasn’t going to get his hopes up.

  


“... Rita.” She launched herself forward, hugging him. He let himself get his hopes up. He closed his arms around her, he could feel her. That meant she was really there right? “Rita what are you doing here.”

  


“Well, you see I was sitting there in the office watching my streams, and I realized ‘Hey, Rita, something’s missing.’ So I went through a checklist of all the things that are normally going on and you weren’t there. I couldn’t have that, I need my boss, who else is gonna pay me,” She beamed at him. “So I tracked you down and came all the way out here for you.” 

  


“Rita, I-” He started, she held up a hand.

  


“Not for  _ you,  _ you. Your  _ money,  _ you. I gotta keep the lights on somehow.” There it was, the other shoe just came flying out of the sky and hit Juno at terminal velocity. Rita still looked overjoyed to see him, but that was tainted now. Juno laughed a hollow and broken laugh.

  


“Of course,” He had nothing left. “What other use am I to you, right?” Rita nodded and agreed. He desperately hoped this wasn’t real. He wasn’t sure he could survive if it was.

  


“That certainly is what your brain says, Boss.” 

  


“You’re another hallucination aren’t you.” she laughed, it sounded off.

  


“Took you long enough. You’re dehydrated and are being exposed to deadly levels of radiation, your dumb brain is ought to do something like this, isn’t it?” He closed his eyes and his body swayed. 

  


“I want you gone by the time I open my eyes,” he took a deep breath, when did breathing get harder? “And I don’t want any more of this shit, stop using my friends. Got it, brain?” 

  


_ Thea Spectrum override; rebooting in  _

  


_ 3… _

  


_ 2… _

  


_ 1… _

  


Juno opened his eyes. The good news? His hallucination was gone. The bad news? He’s been out long enough for the sun to start dipping at the horizon and to gain a thin film of sand.

  


“Shit.” He scrambled to his feet determined to stay upright this time. He looked around at the expanse of red sand in all directions, he didn’t remember which way he started from, the Free Dome was long gone and the sand has already covered up any footprints he may have left. So he started walking, it’s not like it really matters what direction he’s going in anymore. He kept walking even when the sun sank all the way and all the stars came out. He stopped to look at them.

  


“Domes don’t do it justice.” Shit. Juno knew that voice, he knew it well.

  


“Nureyev…” He turned to face the apparition. It smiled.

  


“Not Nureyev, simply a side effect of such severe dehydration and radiation poisoning.”

  


“Oh good I’m poisoned, maybe that’ll speed things up.” Nureyev laughed.

  


“Same old Juno, I see.” 

  


“You can’t see shit, get out of my brain,” Juno snapped.

  


“I  _ am _ your brain, darling.” Juno groaned, turned away, and kept walking. “The stars are nice though aren’t they?”

  


Juno nodded wordlessly and looked up at the countless stars. He could see so many more stars now that there was no dome or light pollution. 

  


“It would have been nicer if you were up there with me.” Juno was getting sick and tired of this whole hallucination business.

  


“You’re not him, stop it.” Nureyev appeared in front of him.

  


“I’m not, no, but what I am is the personification of your guilt.” Juno groaned and walked past him.

  


“Well, my guilt should fuck off.” He heard Nureyev laugh behind him.

  


“We both know it won’t, so tell me, Juno, why’d you leave him?” Juno froze in his tracks.

  


“I- I didn’t wan- you know why am I explaining myself to you? If you’re so much better than me-”

  


“-I  _ am  _ you.”

  


“-why don’t you just tell me why. Go ahead and tell me why I left him in that hotel, tell me why I didn’t leave Mars, hell, why I didn't leave Hyperion City.” When Juno was finished with his outburst he was breathing heavier than he should have and Nureyev was gone. He kept walking. 

  
  


The hallucinations stopped being so linear, one minute he was in the Martian desert, the next he was in Oldtown. One minute he was alone, the next he was surrounded by all the people he’s killed. 

  


He wasn’t in the desert anymore, he was standing at the foot of a hotel bed, two bodies still lying there content. He couldn’t move he could only watch himself as he pushed some hair back from Nureyev’s face. He saw himself slowly get out of bed and get dressed. Juno was screaming at himself. He was screaming until his throat was raw and it stung to breathe. He was helpless as he watched himself take one last look at the love of his life before starting for the door. 

  


“Go back to him you idiot!” He yelled, tears threatening to spill over. His throat burned. He didn’t know he was this upset over this choice, he didn’t let himself. He watched himself leave the room and shut the door to the hotel room and to Nureyev behind him. The scene morphed back into the endless red sand and rocks and he dropped to his knees. He wanted to believe he was only this upset because of the radiation, but some part of him knew that although his feelings may be amplified, they were still  _ his  _ feelings. He gave himself a moment to catch his breath before getting up and starting to walk more. 

  


The hallucinations came and went and kept getting worse. He saw himself with Mick and Sasha leading little Annie Wire astray. He saw himself joining the HCPD and leaving it. He saw himself in a gown he’d rather forget. He had acquired several small injuries, some from falling and hitting a rock, some from trying to get the visions out of his head. He hoped they wouldn't scar. 

  


He saw Benzaiten Steel.

  


Ben was running towards him, Juno was compelled forwards to his brother who looked no older than he did the last time Juno saw him. Ben was grinning from ear to ear when a blaster made itself heard. Ben collapsed at Juno’s feet. 

  


“Juno… why?” he asked betrayal and hurt written all over his face. Juno looked at his shaking hands the ones that held a freshly fired blaster. He dropped it backing away from the scene that lay before him. 

  


“Ben. Ben, I’m sorry…”

  


“Doesn’t seem like it,” Ben’s voice sounded though his corpse made no movements. Juno felt sick and dizzy. He couldn’t take this. He couldn’t breathe and his vision was swimming. 

  


“Ben, please,” Juno took a shuddering breath, “Don’t go again, please. I can’t go through that  _ again. _ ” Juno swayed and his body threatened to tip over. Tears ran down his face, boiling hot compared to the cold air of the desert. 

  


“You left me, Juno,” Ben’s voice said again as his body began to sink into the sand. Juno launched to the ground trying to grasp at anything he could reach. He couldn’t let his brother fall through his fingers again. He  _ couldn’t _ . 

  


“I didn’t mean to, come back!” Ben only sank further the more Juno tried to dig him out. “Ben no!” Juno sobbed as the last of his brother disappeared into the ground beneath miles of freezing red sand. He sat there numb. He let his-- no, not ‘let’ he  _ killed  _ his brother for the second time. He couldn't breathe, it felt like the world was pulled out from underneath him. Maybe he was dead. Maybe he died with Pereyra and the Piranha and this is all some cruel punishment. If not, he didn’t know if he could go on living after this. He was so close to having his brother back.

  


He must have fallen asleep at some point because the next he knew he was waking up with the sun glaring at him. He didn’t remember where he was for one blissful moment of rest until he did. He was sorely disappointed when he had to choose to either get up and keep walking or to just lay there and let the sand take him like it took Ben. He was debating this very choice and how nice it would be to just join Ben when the Thea started glitching. 

  


_ Thea Spectrum is shutting down in _

  


_ 3… _

  


“Wait, no!” Juno scrambled up. He didn’t want his vision to freeze in one eye again.

  


_ 2… _

  


“Don’t shut down.”

  


_ 1… _

  


And there it went, shutting down and leaving Juno with only one eye. At the very least it was just black on the cybernetic side, not frozen in place.  

  


“Bye bye eye,” Juno giggled, delirious from all the mortal peril his body was in. He calmed down enough from his fit of laughter to pick a direction and started to walk with the occasional stumble. Whether the stumbles were from his eye or the dehydration or lack of food or the radiation he didn't know. He didn’t care enough to find out either.

  


As he walked his hallucinations no longer talked to him, it was like they crossed a line and they knew it so they were keeping their distance. He _ saw _ plenty of things though. He saw Nureyev’s body laying lifeless, but as he passed Nureyev's head turned to follow him. He saw Rita sitting on the ground glaring at him as he walked by. He saw Ben’s body with Sarah Steel standing over it… she was smiling. He saw Ben the most, of course, it was Ben his brain had decided to use against him.

  


The sun was just about straight overhead the next time he saw Ben, he was standing thirty feet away looking in Juno’s direction. He turned and immediately went towards Ben, he was  _ going _ to get his brother back, even if it killed him.

  


“Ben. Ben, I’m coming,” He said trying to run over to Ben but tripping over his feet and falling forwards. When he looked up, Ben was standing a little over two feet in front of him and he was smiling at his brother. Ben squatted down next to him.

  


“You grew less than I would have hoped,” Ben said taking Juno’s hand. And Juno, for the first time in a long time, felt truly happy. 

  


“Yeah well, without a brother to outgrow I didn’t have to.” Ben laughed and  _ god  _ Juno hadn’t heard that sound in so long, it was like a symphony to his ears or maybe the feeling of coming home after being away for far too long was more accurate. Yes, that was it. It felt like coming home, it felt like everything was falling into place. “Hey, Ben?” Juno asked as he stood.

  


“Yeah, Juno?”   
  


“I missed you. I missed you so much,” Juno took his brother’s hand as he started to walk, “you have no idea how hard it was without you.” Ben beamed up at his brother.

  


“Good thing I’m back then huh? I’m not going to leave you again. Never.” 

  


Juno and Ben walked like that for a while, talking about anything and everything until Juno’s throat hurt from talking too much. They kept walking until the sun began to set, they decided to sit and watch it for a while. 

  


“I remember we used to climb on top of the roof to watch the sunset and the stars come up with Mick and Sasha,” Ben said leaning against Juno.

  


“We had to sneak back in through the windows so mom wouldn’t yell at us,” Juno laughed. He missed Ben more than words can express. He had lost his other half, he had  _ killed _ his other half, but Ben’s back now and he’s not going to go away anytime soon. 

  


“You know, if you go back to Hyperion City they’ll give you shit to get rid of me.” Juno’s face filled with horror.

   


“Ben, you have to know I won’t let anyone get rid of you.”  


   


“Then that means not going back.” Juno froze. Could he really leave his city? He’s been asked to leave Hyperion City behind before but is his brother worth it? What was he saying, of course _,_ Ben is worth it. It’s his brother this time, not some criminal.

  


“Ben, I-” Juno took a deep breath. Could he really do it? “I’m not sure if…” he let the sentence hang in the air and looked off to the horizon hoping it would in some way give him answers. It didn’t provide answers but it did provide a car. Juno groaned it had never been more than one hallucination at a once but hey there’s a first time for everything right? “Hey, you seeing that?”

  


“Yes, I am,” Ben looked as confused as Juno felt. He’d probably realized that Juno hadn’t hallucinated like this yet too. As the car got closer the sky got darker and soon enough the headlights almost blended into all the sky’s stars.

  


The two watched the stars move slowly across the sky during the time it took for the car to get close enough to pick out details. Juno quickly recognized it as the Ruby 7. He pointed at it and turned to Ben.

  


“Hey, I was in that once.”

  


“Really? That sounds cool, I bet you had lots of fun adventures without me.” Juno frowned the Ruby 7 was starting to get really close. If he and Ben didn’t move soon they would be hit and it wouldn’t have been the first time he hallucinated that. It wasn’t fun. 

  


“It was pretty cool but it was for a crime. I can’t do crime.” Ben nodded in agreement as the Ruby 7 drew even closer. “Do you think we should move?” Ben shook his head.

  


“Nah, it’s just a car,” he turned to Juno with a cocky smile, “we’re the Steel twins after all. What's one hallucination of a car gonna do to us?” Juno laughed and took Ben’s hand.

  


“I’ve missed this.” Ben put his head on Juno’s shoulder.

  


“So have I.” They sat like that watching the car drive towards them under the stars, it was picturesque. Eventually, the Ruby 7 came to a sliding halt a few feet away from hitting them and out scrambled Rita and Nureyev as Juno and Ben watched calmly. 

  


Nureyev and Rita called out to Juno at the same time making their words blur together. 

  


“Juno! Are you okay?” Nureyev asked. Juno looked at the two of them and then turned back to Ben. 

  


“How much you wanna bet they’re here to yell at you?” Ben asked elbowing Juno in the ribs.

  


“Do I look like a lady who has any creds on him right now?” 

  


“Fair point, you're broke,” Ben nodded. 

  
  
  


Unbeknownst to Juno, Peter and Rita shared a terrified look before turning back towards Juno. Juno who was sitting alone in the desert talking to himself. He looked awful, he was covered in sand and looked pale and had all these little cuts and bruised. He looked like he would fall over if someone spoke too loud. 

  


“I'm not _that_ broke. You take that back,” Juno laughed. He  _ laughed. _ Juno Steel, known for being rude and a little too mean to his family just laughed the most carefree laugh either Peter or Rita had ever heard from him. They looked at each other again and came to the same conclusion. 

  


A little over two and a half days in the Martian desert with no supplies is  _ very _ bad. Peter stepped forwards slowly as if Juno were a rabbit and could either kill him or run away in a heartbeat. 

  


“Juno?” he asked softly, “are you alright?” Juno turned to Peter then back to whoever he thought he was talking to as his face contorted in fear.

  


“No! I won’t let that happen,” Juno’s voice quivered just a little from what Peter could only guess was terror. Peter didn’t know what to do, what  _ could  _ he do? He stood there looking at Juno, the lady he loved, as he started to argue with the air. 

  


“You know I won’t, Ben!” Juno stood and much quieter said, “You’re my brother, I won’t lose you again.” Juno was close to tears, so were Rita and Peter. 

  


“Mistah Steel?” Juno turned to her but wouldn’t meet her eyes. Peter noticed he was holding the air behind his back like he would a hand. He didn’t know if this ‘Ben’ was actually Juno’s brother or not. Given how open Juno was with his past anything could be possible. “Boss, look at me. We found you when your eye glitched out. We were awful worried. I didn’t even watch any shows the whole time.” Rita smiled at him hoping they would be able to get him to Hyperion City without knocking him out. Juno looked at the invisible person next to him before answering.

  


“They’ll take Ben away. Besides, how do I even know you’re here.” Juno looked like a cornered animal and he flinched when Peter took a step closer. Peter sighed and looked Juno in the eye, just the one. His cybernetic eye wasn’t moving where his natural eye was darting all over the place. 

  


“Juno, darling, please,” Peter was about three seconds away from dropping to his knees and begging when Juno took a small step towards them. It wasn’t a step to show he trusted them, however. It was Juno getting ready for a fight.

  
  


Juno stood fists clenched and body tight and waiting for Nureyev to attack, it wouldn’t be the first time one of the visions attacked him.

  


“If they bring you back to the city you’ll lose me again. You can’t let them do it, Juno,” Ben said behind him, only winding him up further. Nureyev stepped forward again and Juno positioned his body so that he’d have a better chance.

  


“You want to take Ben from me. I won’t let you do that.” Nureyev looked upset.

  


“I’m sorry about this, Juno, we really didn’t want to have to resort to this.”

  


“Resort to what, Nur-” and Nureyev punched him, knocking him both to the ground and unconscious. 

  


“He’s normally much better at taking punches than that. Mistah Steel’s just not in a good spot right now,” Rita said.

  


“I'm not sure that's something you should be defending but, I know... “ Peter and Rita stared at Juno for a moment. He seemed so broken and desperate. He looked like someone who had lost everything so he clung to what little shreds of anything he could find. “Help me get him in the car. We should try to get him to a hospital before he wakes up. He doesn’t seem like he’s the biggest fan of hospitals right now.”

  


The two got Juno in the car and started off towards Hyperion City, they hoped Juno would be out the whole drive. 

  


As the dome of Hyperion City got closer and closer Juno got more and more restless, but they did make it to a hospital before he woke up completely. He jolted awake as they were getting him situated in a hospital room. Juno looked around searching for Ben in the small room.   
  


“Where’s Ben? What’d you do to Ben?” 

  


“We didn’t do anything to anyone, we brought you to a hospital,” Peter said delicately.

  


“No, you can’t.” Juno stood up and started for the door. 

  


“Juno, don’t leave you need to be treated,” Peter jumped up after him.

  


“Not if that means I’ll lose my brother again. I can’t do it. I  _ won’t _ do it.” Juno looked like he was a few seconds away from killing. It was terrifying for Rita and Peter to see. 

  


Juno was about to try and leave when he saw Ben again. He looked so small and so scared, Juno rushed over to him.

  


“Ben, are you okay?” Ben nodded.

  


“I’m alright, Juno, but the doctors are gonna take me away. You can’t let them take me away.” Juno reached out for Ben the same time a doctor approached him. 

  


“Mr. Steel? You should be laying down and resting. You’ve overexerted yourself, you’re still dehydrated and need food and you were exposed to far too much radiation,” the doctor was nice, she genuinely cared but Juno wasn’t having it. He went to punch her but Peter held his arm back. 

  


“I can’t let him die again. I can’t lose my brother,” Juno fought against Peter’s hold as a nurse came in with a sedative. 

  


“Juno, you’re hallucinating, no one’s there.” Peter felt awful. He felt like he was looking at some twisted broken version of Juno, no the lady he fell in love with.

  


“I finally have him back I can’t let go of him. I’ll die before that happens.” Juno looked at Ben.

  


“Don’t let them kill me, Juno.” Juno shook his head, there was nothing he wouldn’t do to save his brother. Ben reached out and touched Juno’s face, Juno went to hold his hand and felt his face was wet. When did he start crying? 

  


Rita took Peter’s hand and squeezed. The nurse hit Juno with the sedative and led his growing drowsier form to the bed. He was fighting the sedative tooth and nail, he had more willpower than any other patients that hospital had ever seen. Peter slid into the bed next to Juno and held him close. 

  


“No, I won’t let them kill him, I’d rather die, I’d rather die than watch him die again,” Juno was sobbing as Peter put his arms around him and tried to quiet him down. He did eventually quiet down, the sedative ran its course and Juno fell asleep in Peter’s arms asking for his brother.

  
  


He was discharged a few days later when he was properly hydrated and most of the radiation had gone down. Rita and Peter had been instructed to make sure he takes some pills every day for at least a month so the hallucinations don’t come back. Juno had other plans, he had taken the pills for the first week or so but Ben started to fade. Ben had said “You grew up without me, Juno. That means you’re my big brother now, you have to protect me.” So Juno did, he stopped taking the medicine. 

  


Juno sat on the floor of his office facing his desk, he was convinced he was able to work. He was sat there talking to Ben when Peter walked in.

  


“Ben I… I really like him and this is hurting him. I don’t want to hurt him… No, no, of course, I’m not gonna- Ben I am  _ not _ going to hurt you, don’t talk like that. I just wanted to… okay, fine I won’t I won’t.” Peter clamped a hand over his mouth and backed away. It was killing him to see Juno obsess over this. He cornered Rita one day to really talk about Juno.

  


“Rita, I’m so scared. He’s killing himself over this. It’s not just hallucinations, he’s scattered and panicked and the other day I watched him rearrange his desk over and over again for hours. You know Juno, I don’t think he’s rearranged his desk once in his entire life,” Peter said. 

  


“I saw him staring into space for hours yesterday and the boss shakes and he talks to himself not just this brother of his. I’m really worried about him too but what do we do?” Peter took a grounding breath.

  


“I think we should contact Mick Mercury. He was with Juno when Ben died, he must have  _ some  _ answer.” So they contacted Mick, he raced over as fast as he could and showed up at the office the next day. 

  
  


“Mistah Steel is in his office, he’s umm,” Rita looked to Peter.

  


“He’s talking to Ben again,” Peter finished, “we don’t know what to do he won’t take his medicine. If you want to go in, we’re staying out here.” Mick didn’t look all that surprised at the situation. He walked across the room to Juno’s office and knocked on the door before entering.

  


“Hey, Jay? Heard you might wanna talk,” Mick said as he looked at the scene before him. Juno was leaning against the windowsill looking at the desk chair. He’d been talking before Mick walked in.

  


“Hey,” Juno smiled, it was desperate and broken but also overjoyed, “he’s back. He’s safe again, Mick.” 

  


Mick crossed the room to Juno and pulled him up into a tight hug, Juno struggled as Mick said, “Ben’s gone, Juno.” Juno shook his head and said no. 

  


“He’s right there, Mick.” 

  


“He’s gone,” Mick rubbed Juno’s back as he stopped fighting, “Ben is dead, Juno, whatever you’re seeing is because of the radiation,” Mick kept telling Juno this until he gave in. 

  


Juno was crying and clutching at Mick’s shirt as he said, “I know, I know he is… I just- I just want him back okay?”

  


“I know, Jay,” Mick guided Juno to his desk chair, not the comfiest, but Juno’s had worst, “just try to rest and take your medicine, okay? Oh and if you want I could walk you to your apartment so you can actually lay down.” Juno curled up on the chair and turned away from him. His thanks was muffled but genuine. Mick exited the room to see Rita and Peter exchanging nervous looks.

  


“Mick, I… I wanted to ask,” Peter started, he wasn’t sure if he wanted the answer, “was this at all how he acter after Ben died?” Mick sighed and sat down with them.

  


“No, he was… quieter and angrier. This was kind of expected though if I’m being honest,” he ran a hand through his hair, “You know Juno, he always keeps everything bottled up, I guess getting radiation poisoning was what it took to break some of those bottles.”

  
  


After a couple months when the hallucinations and other issues finally completely stopped, Peter tried to get Juno to open up.

  


“I already told you, I don’t want to talk about it. Just drop it.” Juno said sitting on his couch with a bottle of whiskey.

  


“I understand that, but you really should talk to someone, Mick maybe?”

  


“I said drop it, Nureyev,” Juno snapped and Peter backed down. Most times when people brought it up Juno would ignore them and just pretend he didn’t hear. He did that until people eventually stopped bringing it up altogether. He still had nightmares, months and years from that moment about Ben and about what he saw out in the desert. 

  


But nightmares about Ben weren’t exactly new. 

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by another discord conversation with @interstellarvagabond on tumblr (she came up with "bye bye eye" and i had to use it) @fan-art-ic on tumblr came up with the title thanks guys for this


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